Loving Where I am. Missing Where I've Been.

Why do you exist in my dreams? And even saw what could happen. One, two, three... Alright, I'm so trying hard to decode it myself.

You know it felt tiring sometimes, and I feel pressured as well when people ask me how or why about this certain thing. Because it's devastating and frustrating that I can't answer them, and me myself doesn't even know, and though I don't prove what I believe or myself, I'd still like to know the origin of these whatever enigmatic thing that overshadowed my heart. But I just really can't. All I can is just say 'I just know.'

I've got be blunt, maybe I am not really happy, BUT I'VE NEVER FELT HAPPIEST LIKE THIS EVER. You know the feeling of contentment, peace but fun, love, and all those positive feelings. I do still wonder where do I get all of these. But I learned that I gotta stop questioning, instead get used to it and cherish it, and remind myself that I deserve all of it. And faith is what I feel more than hope now.